


Very Improper

by lamardeuse



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:42:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamardeuse/pseuds/lamardeuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gives a language lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Very Improper

**Author's Note:**

> Written for oxoniensis' Porn Battle VII.
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt: normalcy

“So what was that snort about?”

Rodney, who was engaged in the very important work of taking off his pants so they could have sex, frowned at the interruption. “What snort?”

“In the meeting,” John said, waving a hand. “I said something, and you snorted.”

“I don't remember – oh. Yes, I do.”

“So?” John shucked off his boxers, and Rodney forgot the question. John arched an eyebrow at him.

“All right, fine. I snorted because you said 'normalcy.'”

“Wow,” John drawled. “I had no idea the word was that funny.” He reached for Rodney's zipper.

“It's not a word,” Rodney said, and John's hands stilled, and Jesus, did his mouth not know he was about to get laid?

“It is so a word,” John shot back.

“I'm sorry, but it's not. Warren G. Harding – a president almost as well known for malapropisms as your dearly departed Dubyah – invented it.”

John frowned. “Wow. You're a real font of information.”

“I'm just saying,” Rodney said. “Not a word.”

“He coined it what, eighty years ago? That makes it a word,” John said, sliding Rodney's pants down his hips.

“You Americans have no respect for the English language,” Rodney muttered. “Inventing words – and spellings, I might add – willy-nilly.”

“That's us – we're the willy-nilliest,” John said, yanking down Rodney's boxers and wrapping a hand around his dick.

“Oh, you did not just – okay, do that again,” Rodney gasped. John obliged with that great little strokey-twisty thing he did, and Rodney groaned and let his head fall onto John's shoulder so that he could get a better look at the action.

“You love to watch, don't you?” John murmured.

Rodney's cheeks went hot. “I do not. I – my neck is tired from bending over the computer all day.”

“Aww, poor baby,” John simpered, his other hand reaching up to knead Rodney's neck muscles. Rodney thought about berating him for being a shithead and insensitive to Rodney's fake pain, but he was too busy being impressed by the way John's hands could separately attend to a massage and a hand job without faltering. It was a talent greatly to be desired in a boyfriend, like double-jointedness.

“Tell you what,” John said after a minute, taking away his hands and stepping back, “we'll try a test.”

Rodney scowled. “You're going to make me pay for insulting the good ol' U S of A, aren't you?”

John smirked. “You sit down over here,” he said, taking Rodney by the shoulders and pushing him until the backs of his knees hit the bed, “and we'll see which words you like better – the proper ones or the not-so-proper ones.”

“Um,” Rodney said, flopping down onto the mattress, “okay?”

John smiled his approval, then sank to his knees. Rodney automatically spread his legs to accommodate John's shoulders, but John didn't take him up on the invitation right away. Instead, he placed his hand under Rodney's dick, just letting it rest in his flattened palm.

“Penis,” he said, to – well, Rodney's penis.

Rodney stared at him. John stuck out his lips. “Nope. Okay, then, how about – cock?”

Rodney looked down to see his cock swelling in John's hand, because holy shit, he didn't think he'd ever heard John say that word.

“Interesting,” John mused. Then he leaned forward, and Rodney bit his lip to keep from groaning.

“Fellatio,” John murmured, his breath caressing Rodney's balls. Rodney's cock twitched.

“Okay, proper gets some action. Now, let's try –” John sucked in a breath “– blowjob.”

Rodney clenched his jaw around the whimper as John's mouth closed around him. His fists clenched in the sheets as John treated him to a minute or so of deep, perfect suction before pulling off again. Rodney almost screamed in frustration.

“I think I gotta give that point to improper, too,” John said, looking up. “What do you think?”

Rodney could only nod frantically. His dick was throbbing in time with his racing pulse and his teeth were leaving permanent marks in his lower lip.

“Last test. You ready?”

“Fuck, yes,” Rodney moaned, breaking.

John pushed him flat on the bed, then swung a leg over his hips. “No fair guessing,” he said, grinning.

**Author's Note:**

> First published January 2009.


End file.
